The Standard Nuthead Reply Form (with apologies to The Standard Bonehead Reply Form) Dear: [ ]Sir [ ]Waste of Carbon [ ]Web Master [ ]Spaz [ ]Madam [ ]Delusional One [ ]Poster [ ]Dimwit [ ]Twit [ ]Cheese-Breath [ ]Author [ ]Brat [ ]Walnuthead [ ]Dweeb [ ]Artist [ ]Lost One [ ]Geek [ ]Gadget Wanna-be [ ]Nutcase [ ]Zipper Chow I have taken offense at your Ranger post/fan work/web site because it was (check all that apply): [ ]Pathetic. [ ]Ignorant. [ ]Grossly erroneous. [ ]Babble personified. On the Message Board: [ ]You claimed your views as gospel. [ ]You completely trashed a character[s] because you "didn't like them". [ ]You posted Ranger erotica. [ ]You posted where to find Ranger erotica. (check only if above checked) [ ]And think it's good. [ ]Your fetish for chipmunks is unnatural. [ ]Your fetish for flies is unnatural. [ ]Your fetish for mice is unnatural. (check only if above checked) [ ]Even by Gadgetphile standards. [ ]You upset the Grand High Page Maintainer Lady. (check only if above checked) [ ]Repeatedly. (check only if above checked) [ ]On the same topic. [ ]You attempted to start Ranger War III. (check only if above checked) [ ]And failed. (check only if above checked) [ ]Miserably. [ ]You attempted to organize a Rules revolt. [ ]You attempted to organize a thread revolt. [ ]You are revolting. [ ]You posted something about Foxglove that upset Roy Neal Grissom. [ ]You posted something about Chip that upset Natasha Kashefipour. [ ]You posted something about Gadget that upset the IOG. [ ]You posted something about software that upset John Nowak. [ ]You repeatedly stated that __________ is/are God. [ ]You repeatedly stated that __________ is/are Satan. [ ]You used profanity. [ ]You threw a temper tantrum. (check only if above checked) [ ]And then asked why nobody liked you. [ ]You made a monthly "I'm leaving" post. (check only if above checked) [ ]But always disappoint everyone by returning. [ ]You started/prolonged a useless thread never mentioning the Rangers, about (check all that apply): [ ]Star Trek. [ ]OS systems. [ ]A bad television show. [ ]Computer games. [ ]Your personal life. (check only if above checked) [ ]Even though you have no life. [ ]Your views on the price of tea in China. (check only if one of the above checked) [ ]Then balked when asked to take it to the Off-Topic Board or e-mail. [ ]You broke the Ranger Rules in full knowledge and willingness. (check only if above checked) [ ]Blatantly. [ ]You ask a topic be banned, then start a thread on it within the hour. [ ]You constantly plug your own (check all that apply): [ ]Fanfiction. [ ]Fanart. [ ]Web page. (check only if one of the above checked) [ ]Which has nothing to do with the Rangers. [ ]You repeatedly fail to grasp the concept of "beating a dead horse". [ ]You air your personal life. (check only if above checked) [ ]When nobody asked you to. (check only if above checked) [ ]And told you to stop. [ ]Your only reason for thinking the chipmunks are scum is because you feel you are the perfect mate for Gadget. (check only if above checked) [ ]Or your fictional surrogate. [ ]You showed extreme ignorance by (check all that apply): [ ]Assuming Julie Bihn gives Chip and Gadget's marriage her blessing. [ ]Thinking Chip was the one with the red nose. [ ]Asking for sites containing Ranger erotica. [ ]Thinking that posting without giving a name would protect you. [ ]Believing the Rangers would be better off without Zipper/Dale/Monterey. [ ]Forgetting that the Rangers are a *cartoon* series. [ ]Forgetting that the Rangers are a *G-rated* cartoon series. [ ]Furthermore, it has been shown that you (check all that apply): [ ]Need to read the rules again. (check only if above checked) [ ]And follow them for a change. [ ]Are giving Rangerphiles a bad name. [ ]Are giving the human race a bad name. [ ]Have a lame screen name. [ ]Have gravely misinterpreted the purpose of the message board. [ ]Should check your facts before proclaiming something as the truth. (check only if above checked) [ ]For others more intelligent than you will prove you wrong. (check only if above checked) [ ]Again. (check only if above checked) [ ]And get another good laugh. [ ]Prove that age has nothing to do with maturity (or lack thereof). [ ]Are causing people migraines from reading your (check all that apply): [ ]Spelling. [ ]Grammar. [ ]SCREAMING [all caps]. [ ]Incoherence. You created fanart which was (check all that apply): [ ]Disgusting. [ ]Inappropriate. [ ]Apparently drawn in a drunken stupor. (check only if above checked) [ ]And you claim it's "professional quality". [ ]Stars you. [ ]Stars the character representation of you. (check only if above checked) [ ]Being intimate with Gadget. (check only if above checked) [ ]So much as to give children mental scars for life. [ ]Stars characters from (check all that apply): [ ]Star Trek. [ ]Tiny Toons. [ ]ANY Anime series. [ ]Just the same computer image in different colors. [ ]Corrupted in file transfer. (check only if above checked) [ ]And you never bothered to replace it. [ ]Shows a distinct lack of effort. [ ]Shows a distinct lack of interest. [ ]Shows a distinct lack of talent. [ ]Yet another Gadget in Manga/Anime-style. [ ]Missing (check all that apply): [ ]Correct proportions. [ ]Perspective. [ ]Color sense. [ ]Knowledge of what the Rangers really look like. [ ]Any artistic ability. You created fanfiction which: [ ]Revealed far more of your private life than anyone ever cared to know. [ ]Was sexually graphic. [ ]Was full of violence. (check only if above checked) [ ]Written badly. [ ]Written in a comic book style. (check only if above checked) [ ]And gave new meaning to the term "bloodbath". [ ]Completely mangled a character[s] personality. (check only if above checked) [ ]Without any reason. [ ]Repeatedly. [ ]Gives the Rangers backgrounds/futures which are way too (check all that apply): [ ]Depressing. [ ]Technical. [ ]Violent. [ ]Out of character. [ ]Starred you. [ ]Starred your fictional surrogate as a main character. (check only if above checked) [ ]Who wins Gadget over. (check only if above checked) [ ]Way too easily. [ ]Starred a previously established character (check all that apply): [ ]From a Star Trek movie/TV show/novel. [ ]From a comic book. [ ]From a video game. [ ]From another fanfic. (check only if one of the above checked) [ ]One much better than yours. [ ]And you completely screwed up the character. [ ]Will provide the MiST community with fresh meat. [ ]Has obviously (check all that apply): [ ]Hopped on the "Gadget Angst" bandwagon. [ ]Hopped on the "Mysterious Stranger" bandwagon. [ ]Hopped on the "Rangers: Next Generation" bandwagon. (check only if one of the above checked) [ ]And is dead weight. [ ]Has Gadget falling in love with a/an (check all that apply): [ ]Total stranger. [ ]Homicidal maniac. [ ]Egomaniac. [ ]Person packing way too much power to be taken seriously. Your web site: [ ]Only has dead links. [ ]Has no useful links on it. (check only if above checked) [ ]And claims to be a major Ranger Internet site. [ ]Only has one (check all that apply): [ ]Picture. [ ]Screen grab. [ ]Product scan. [ ]Fanfic. (check only if above checked) [ ]Which is incomplete. [ ]Denounces another web site. (check only if above checked) [ ]Which is better then yours. [ ]Hasn't been updated since a Republican was in office. (check only if above checked) [ ]And promises "constant updates!". [ ]Contains Ranger erotica. [ ]Has an incomplete story on it. (check only if above checked) [ ]The same one that's been there since dinosaurs roamed the Earth. [ ]Demands no-one use any of your pictures or fanfiction. [ ]Fails to be (check all that apply): [ ]Witty. [ ]Informed. [ ]Intelligent. [ ]Legible. It is recommenced that you (check all that apply): [ ]Get a Real Life[tm]. [ ]Get a clue. [ ]Get your CAPS LOCK KEY fixed. [ ]Pick a fight with a steamroller. [ ]Dive into a moving cement mixer. [ ]Beta-test Gadget's hamster-driven cranium saw[tm]. [ ]Take some drawing/writing classes. [ ]Take some drawing/writing classes and *learn*. [ ]Watch the series again. [ ]Publicly grovel for forgiveness. [ ]Learn what the Rangers are all about. [ ]Learn what the Message Board is all about. [ ]Learn what grammar is all about. Copyright [c] 1998 Matt Plotecher